Jesse Lingard has revealed that he used to drink "to try and take the pain away" when his career at Manchester United went downhill.
After enrolling in the club's academy at the age of seven, Lingard spent 22 years at United before departing for Premier League newcomers Nottingham Forest last summer.
The England international made over 230 senior games for United and scored the game-winning goal in the 2016 FA Cup final, but claimed he was "trying to forget what was going on" at Old Trafford due to hostility from supporters and his mother's battle with depression.
"I was drinking before bed, having a nightcap. I look back now and think, ‘what was I doing that for?’ But I needed something to try and take the pain away and put me at ease somehow," Lingard told The Diary Of A CEO podcast.
"I was trying to forget what was going on. But it makes it 10 times worse. You’re getting that much abuse, and I’m already down enough, and I’ve got to perform. I’m already going through things you don’t know about… I felt like the world was on my shoulders."
When Lingard was a child, his mother Kirsty struggled with depression and frequently spent the entire day in bed. He was left to take care of his younger siblings Jasper and Daisy-Boo after she was taken to the hospital for treatment in 2019.
"The depression was so bad she couldn’t really cope anymore and she needed to go away and get help," he said.
"But leaving me with my little sister who was 11 at the time and my little brother who was 15, for me, I was still going through my own things as well. So I wasn’t really the big brother they wanted at the time. They always get the fun, laughy, bubbly Jesse and I was going through my own things, so I was on autopilot. I just wasn’t there mentally."
The winger also said that speaking and opening up to the then Manchester United manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer about his personal issues helped him.
"To be abused like that tipped it. I didn’t want to be on the pitch, I didn’t want to play. I didn’t want to quit football, I never would have quit football, but I needed a break," he said.
"I need to find some motivation, some fire in my belly to get going again because I can’t be doing this. We kept it close knit but even just to have Ole say, ‘how is your mum? How is she doing?’ helped, to let people know what I was going through."
It is worth mentioning here that after a strong second half of the 2020–21 campaign on loan at West Ham, where he scored nine goals in 16 games, Lingard returned to United only to struggle to get playing time.